How to Handle Difficult Customers & Content Theft – AKA “Killing With Kindness”



The porn business is about more than just making videos and photos, it’s also a customer service job. This can sometimes lead to problems. I’ve been asked repeatedly about how I handle common issues that a lot of girls face. I believe the best answer is “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.”







When someone asks you for a service you do not provide or asks to meet you: 

Very recently, I saw someone respond very angrily to a fan asking if they could meet up next time she was in town. I’ve also seen girls time and again get offended when a fan asks to purchase a service they do not provide (for example KIK or prostitution). I think this is silly. The person asking is not at fault here. He has a particular interest, and there’s nothing wrong with that, and he likes YOU enough to ask you to fulfill that desire! This is a good thing! It’s not his fault you don’t offer that service/meet up with strangers from the internet. Take it as a compliment! It doesn’t mean you have to offer the service just because he asked, but you can say no nicely. Something like “I’m sorry, but I don’t do X, but thank you so much for your interest!” Now he’s still a fan of yours, no hurt feelings! If you responded “Ugh no fucking way creep!” (Like I’ve seen many people do), then he’s not going to be a fan anymore and he’ll probably tell everyone he knows that you’re mean. No bueno. Like begets like: be positive and kind, and the other person will likely be too!

If you’re nice when saying no, that person may tell others that you are nice and will continue to consume your content! It’s not his fault you don’t offer something he wants. Take it as a compliment.



When someone is overly sexual/sends dick pics: 

Again, take this as a compliment! While it may not be the thing you hope to see when you open a fan letter, remember that you’re in the adult industry and this is what you HOPE to achieve! You don’t need to respond to this at all if it makes you uncomfortable, but there is no reason to be mean. I’ve literally seen someone bitch at a guy who did this after she posted to GoneWild, and it really confuses me! I love that I get people hard!

“Hey BB You get me so horny!”


When someone is outright rude or insulting to you:

Don’t waste your time on people who do not respect you. You have limited time on this earth, don’t throw it away feeding a troll. Again, like begets like. If you fight fire with fire, it’s only going to grow and burn everyone. If he’s said something publicly, it only looks bad on them, not you, so don’t add to the negativity. If it’s in a private message, just ignore it.



When someone shares your work on the internet: 

This is a huge problem in the industry. It does suck when someone shares your paid content for free with others, but think about what that means when you find it. Firstly, someone had to buy it in the first place, and secondly it means that someone liked the video SO MUCH that they just had to share it with the world! That’s kind of nice, isn’t it?

There is no way to stop people from doing this, but there are things you can do to help make it profitable for you! Do not bother with a DMCA claim. Your name and address can be seen by the person who runs the site you found it on, and it’s unlikely to do anything. Do you really want to play Whack-A-Mole with the internet? If it gets taken down one place, it will pop up in 3 more. It’s the Barbara Streisand Effect.

Better way to handle it: watermark all of your work so people know where to find more of your work. One of the people who watches it could be your new biggest fan who will buy the rest of your videos, or at least watch all of your free content.

Which leads me to this: have LOTS of free content that makes you money. Pornhub is great for this, but most tube sites have a program where you make money from views. When you find your work shared online, comment on the post that you’re glad they like your work, and HERE’s where you can find more of your work for free! You make money, they like you, they get free content. Win, win, win. When you give a lot of free content out, there’s a lot less motivation for them to steal from you anyway. I have a few videos that have been torrented, so I’ve put them on Pornhub. The torrents have only gotten a few hundred downloads. The Pornhub videos have over 100 000 views each. Kindness wins.

So, the moral of the story: Be nice to everyone, appreciate when people like you, share freely and let people know where they can get more of what they want. Never say a mean word to anyone as that only breeds more negativity. Kindness always wins.

Edit: I was asked about one more issue:

When people ask for freebies/say they are against paying for porn:

Luckily, there are plenty of people willing to pay for porn, which is why porn is one of the world’s biggest industries! But a lot of people, and I would say a growing number, don’t pay for porn because there is infinite free porn on the internet and their tastes are not so niche as to not be able to find what they’re looking for. There’s nothing wrong with this! There’s plenty of really hot free porn out there. If this person is a fan of yours but doesn’t want to pay, you should just direct them to your collection of free content. They don’t have to pay to watch your PornHub videos, and you still get paid. Win win! Now if they’re demanding you give them free KIK time, panties, personalized photos/etc, again direct them to your free content, thank them for their interest, and politely decline their request. Some people won’t respect your time, and you’re not obligated to oblige them but again, there’s no reason to be mean. Kindness always wins.


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